First off, this is my first post. I’m a new ManShark Feeder. And let me just say, overdue. The last ManShark who lived here must be starving by now. No one has feed his ass in about 2 years. And what is with the homo-erotic catagories? Hard Thoughs? Hard-sh News? Raging Semi Rants (ok, so I made that one up, but write that down!)? I’m overhauling this shit. Now we will also have Deep Thoughts… hell, deep everything. Why not go deep and hard? Needless to say, we are back and ready to make this baby ManShark the fattest piece of crap satirical blog this side of the Atlantic (Have you read that British garbage? They know how to lay on the sarcasm… and with an accent to boot).
Which brings me to the whole point of this. Accents and regional language. Lets be honest, every time you hear something from where you are from you think whoever said it is wicked normal. And when you hear something foreign its hella homo. Apparently the backwards people who aren’t where I am from (or when I’m from, but we will get to that later) feel the same way and consider me wicked retahated.
Let’s take a quick look at regional words. This is a running list, if you have something to add then by all means leave a comment.
Hella (California), Wicked (New England), Bloody (Old England), Don-cha-kno (Minnesota*), Eh (Canada), Y’all (South), Howdy (Texas), Epic Fail (Douche bags)
*This is what I could best gather from a combination of Miracle, Brock Lesnar, and Bobby’s World.
Hipster Douche
Unfortunately the terribleness of the Newly Bastardized English Dictionary (someone get Webster on the phone!) doesn’t stop there. Some things are so epicly turrible (Thanks Chuck *wink*) that they somehow permeate all regions and dialects. We must stop all of this immediately. Somehow underground hipster culture has become the new fad. Every italic word here should never be uttered again unless, you know, you have to communicate with one of them (so yeah, never).
In fact, screw it. Lets take back the mainstream. Don’t let the regional hipster doufus du jour ruin our lexicon. Now that we, the intel, have become the minority. Those who refuse to dub the latest viral video with the terms “sooo epic”, “def rando”, and “super legit” can now be pushed aside for those who would simply send a link (not forward an email, this isn’t 1998) to a friend saying “watch this, it’s funny because the dog eats shit at the end.” isn’t it time for the tables to turn? The world and culture is cyclical. Just wait ’til we are all wearing those auto drying coats with malfunctioning sleeves like in Back To The Future in 4 years. 80′s style in a modern world.
Anyway, I am aware I have terrible grammar, and worse spelling. I do not consider myself a Grammar Nazi. I would be overjoyed to consider myself a new age vocabulary revolutionary. So let’s go with that for now. Until the next time I stick my hard and deep thoughts into your brain (hah, yeah), keep feeding that ManShark. We must all keep him alive.
