Unnecessary Acronyms

I can’t get behind unnecessary acronyms (UA’s). In fact, UA’s are one of the most extreme ‘Things I Can’t Get Behind‘ (TICGB). The purpose of an acronym is to shorten an otherwise long and complex title, so it can be quickly interpreted in its coming iterations. To make an arbitrary rule of thumb (RT); you need at least 10 iterations of a wordy title to merit an acronym.

Here’s another RT; Acronyms are like babies. Just because it’s possible to create one, doesn’t necessarily mean you should.

The acronym feature of our language is abused. Many people assign acronyms willy-nilly (WN) just to create a heightened level of officialness (HLO), like they paid a registration fee, and filled out the necessary paperwork with the Acronym Registry (AR). These people just tack an acronym onto any old thing (AOT), as if we’re all taking notes. But we’re not. If I threw TICGB at you, right now, would you remember what it stands for?

It’s okay. It was a UA anyway.

Hollywood is a repeat offender of acronym abuse. A particularly unforgivable incident was The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, a movie Sean Connery would like to forget, but the worst part is the acronym designated to it: LXG. Does the title of a movie need an acronym? Ever? Maybe if you’re talking about the movie with your friends in the theatre parking lot, but not in the movie. The title screen makes one appearance, at the beginning. The audience can endure the heavy reading.

Kitchy acronyms that spell out words aren’t off the hook either: acronyms like YES, NOW, and STARS. Call these Vanity Acronyms (VA’s). Remember ‘DARE to keep kids off drugs?’ Of course you remember (unless you’re on drugs). Remember what DARE stands for? Neither do I (Drugs Are Really… Exhausting?). VA’s are often backward engineered acronyms. That is, the acronym was created before the words it represents were chosen. Backward Engineered Acronyms (BEA’s) are abominations against the very thing acronyms stand for: words.

I get it. We’re lazy and acronyms make writing easier. But acronyms aren’t for making writing easier. They’re for making reading easier. Acronym abuse befuddles that purpose, and actually makes reading harder. And it’s obnoxious.

Fact: An unnecessary acronym is born every 3 minutes.

I can’t get behind that kind of wasteful acronym production, when there are only 26 letters. Pretty soon, every combination will be taken. Conserve your acronyms. Let’s make it an RT.

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Related reading:
Uncyclopedia: International Association For Important Unnecessary Acronyms (IAIUA)

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